I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I just cut my nipple shaving
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
birth control should be required to get into college
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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