Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Soap is not a condiment
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
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