Yo dont text me then not text me
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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