I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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