Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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