i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
