Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
