Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
