this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
