I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
