Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
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