i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
