Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
