Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
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