is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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