Whod you bang
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Randomize
