He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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