the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
