just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
