i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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