Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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