i don't like sucking hair
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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