Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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