2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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