apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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