i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Say something about gay babies.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
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