Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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