she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
