I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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