Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
