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where does the pee come out of this thing
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
