with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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