i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
