I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
