ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
