I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
