I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
