i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Randomize
