you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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