how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
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