Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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