don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Randomize
