How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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