If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
