your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
