well most of my day revolves around power hour
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
