if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
