Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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