It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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