Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
