we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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