How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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