My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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