fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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