it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
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