how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
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