standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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