no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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