Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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